


what ifs and might-have-beens

by jeepsarmitage



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:39:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeepsarmitage/pseuds/jeepsarmitage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> “This is probably the happiest moment of my life, and the really shitty thing about it is that I wouldn’t have gotten here without my ex girlfriend who broke my heart. And maybe this is a really stupid place to say this, but…I just want to say thank you, for breaking me. And that I’m sorry, and I really hope you’re doing well.” </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>or: the one where Chloe breaks up with Beca because she wants her to follow her dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hello, can you hear me?

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off of Adele's "hello" 
> 
> thank u to noe (brittanysnieve) for giving me this idea. sorry not sorry i made it sad.

**hello, can you hear me?**

**.**

 

_Hello, can you hear me?_

_I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be_

_When we were younger and free_

_I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet_

_-_ Adele, "Hello"

 

///

 

California isn’t all it is cracked up to be.

 

It is hot, for one, and there are people everywhere, which, for recluse like Beca isn’t exactly the greatest of things. Not to mention it seems like everything and everyone is _go, go, go_ all the goddamn time and Beca feels like she never really gets the chance to just enjoy being there. She has her job, and a nice apartment thanks to her dad. And LA is great, really. It is fantastic, and she is eternally grateful for the chance to be there and for the opportunities she’s been given, but she still can’t shake the feeling that something is missing.

 

Or _someone_.

 

Three months after she moves and she doesn’t let herself dwell on that anymore. She can’t, because when she does she ends up thinking things like “what if I hadn’t of stayed at Barden?” and “what if I hadn’t have met _her?”_ which inevitably leads to a train of thought along the line of, maybe if she hadn’t of met _her_ , Beca’s heart would still be in one piece as opposed to the splintered fragments that it currently exists as. Maybe she’d be happy, instead of falling asleep to thoughts of red and blue, feeling the soft touch of a single tear falling down her face.

 

Maybe, she thinks, had she stood her ground against her dad and forewent the college-route, her life wouldn’t be filled with “what ifs” and “might have beens”.

 

(maybe, she thinks, but probably not)

 

//

 

It takes two years of long nights and stress-filled days of hard work before she starts to really get noticed, and if she were to be honest, she hadn’t really thought it would happen this quickly. That’s probably why she is so surprised when she hears her song on the radio when she pulls to a stop outside her apartment, and it takes a moment before it actually sinks in.

 

Her song is on the radio.

 

They’re talking about _her_ song.

 

_On the freaking radio._

 

It doesn’t feel real. Not at all, and she calls her dad to confirm that it was actually her song that played a few seconds ago, and she hadn’t simply made it all up in her head. And when he confirms that yes, he had heard it too and he is proud of her, Beca isn’t above admitting that she cries alone in her car once she hung up.

 

She doesn’t think to check her social media until she gets to the studio the next day and the guy that occupies the desk across from her asks if she had seen what the world has been saying about her.

 

“What?” she asks, in traditional Beca fashion, “what are you talking about?”

 

“Twitter!” The guy asks. She thinks his name is Jason, or Jackson. It starts with a J, she knows that much. “You’ve been trending!”

 

Beca nods dumbly, because she honestly doesn’t understand what this guy is saying. She doesn’t know what trending is, or why it’s significant. After all, she only signed up for Twitter after a not-so-subtle suggestion from the media team at the label. It hasn’t really been used since the first week, but she opens the app on her phone anyway and her eyes widen when she sees the amount of notifications.

 

Jason-Jackson-Jordan smiles at her, and she stares dumbly at him before she musters out a faint, _“I don’t know what to do”_ because, honestly? She really doesn’t. She hadn’t really given any thought to the fact that this sort of thing would come with her career of choice. Her only thought when she decided to follow this career path was the music. The fame, popularity and social media presence hadn’t even occurred to her, and now as she sits listening as Jason-Jackson-Jordan-Justin teaches her how to use the platform, she thinks that maybe she has signed up for more than she can handle.

 

But then her succinct “thank you” tweet gets blown up across the platform, and she thinks that maybe she can do this because despite her minimum effort tweet, the fans (are they fans? Does she have fans now?) cling to it like an infant to their parent.

 

The fact she doesn’t need to get out of bed to have this level of social media presence is also a plus. In Beca’s book, anyway.

 

(When Chloe follows her on twitter, Beca pretends not to notice.)

 

(she certainly doesn’t scroll through Chloe’s feed, and she doesn’t feel any tears prickle in the corner of her eye when she sees a particular tweet about ice cream dates with her boyfriend)

 

///

 

Two years has changed Beca Mitchell in more ways than she cares to admit, but of course Aubrey Posen points them out when the two meet at a café on a Saturday afternoon.

 

Beca has mellowed considerably, and sure she may have gotten a few more piercings and her body is littered with a few more tattoos, but what Aubrey notices first is the fact that Beca Mitchell was quiet.

 

“You okay over there?” The blonde asks, after the two exchange the obligatory _‘it’s been so long!’_ before settling down at a table in the back. “You haven’t insulted me yet, and we’ve been here for nearly five minutes.”

 

Beca laughs quietly, in the way that Beca does where it happens more with her body that the laugh itself. Her shoulders vibrate and she rolls her eyes, and while there’s a smile on her face, Aubrey notices it doesn’t really reach her eyes and while Beca may be laughing, Aubrey doesn’t think she really means it.

“Maybe I just don’t want to insult you anymore, Posen.” Beca’s eyebrow twitches upwards, and she sits back in the chair, bringing her coffee cup to her lips. Aubrey narrows her eyes.

 

“You’re quiet.”

 

“I don’t have anything to say.”

 

“You _always_ have something to say, Mitchell.”

 

Beca tilts her head, and there’s a flash of something in her eyes that Aubrey can’t quite place. It’s gone before she can really catch it, because if one thing is familiar about Beca it’s that she’s excellent at hiding her feelings. The fact that she’s actually happy about that one piece of familiarity from Beca makes Aubrey’s heart jump in her throat and she swallows hard as she stares back at Beca, as though challenging the woman to something she isn’t so sure she wants to engage in.

 

She doesn’t, she decides once Beca speaks, because the words that come out of Beca’s mouth are enough to shatter Aubrey’s heart in a way she never though Beca Mitchell would be able to achieve.

 

“Maybe,” Beca says, “I don’t have anything more to say.”

 

///

 

Beca thinks she’s done a fairly good job of avoiding TV interviews throughout her career. There’s been offers, but Beca’s manager is excellent at getting Beca out of them once Beca made it very clear she didn’t want to do that sort of thing. Her manager agreed that maybe keeping Beca off television was a good idea, once she actually _met_ the producer.

 

Beca isn’t exactly the type of person that oozes sociality, after all.

 

So when said manager calls Beca at noon of a Thursday and announces that she’s going on Late Nights with Seth Meyers, Beca nearly has a heart attack.

 

“Why?” she spits out, failing to keep the hostility out of her voice. “I thought we had an understanding.”

 

“We do,” her manager replies, “but this will be good for you. You can’t stay away from it forever.”

 

The finality is evident, and Beca sighs. She always knew that one day she’d have to do this, but she didn’t think it would be so soon.

 

“Why now?”

 

There’s silence at the other end, and Beca frowns. “Liz?”

 

“You’re topping the charts, Beca. You’ve been played on stations across the country. People are starting to wonder why you’re hiding. There’s been rumours that you aren’t legitimate. Making an appearance, even if it’s just one, will help with that.”

 

Beca knows of the rumours, they’d been hovering around her for a while now, and she knows her manager would only push this if it were really serious. So she agrees with a sigh, and when Liz thanks her, the relief can be heard in her voice.

 

///

 

Seth is nice, and Beca doesn’t think she fucks up too badly.

 

She doesn’t watch it when it airs, though. In fact, she does a pretty great job of pretending it never happened.

 

(when Chloe tweets her, saying Beca did a great job, Beca buys a bottle of whiskey and drinks away the memories)

 

///

 

It’s funny how life seems to play out in all the ways she never thought it would. She always thought she’d be content with living by herself. With not having anyone she could honestly say she’s close to. And yet when she finds out she’s been nominated for a Grammy, Beca finds herself calling the one person she never thought she’d be close to.

 

Aubrey Posen seems to have inserted herself into Beca’s life without so much as asking if Beca wants her there. The confusing thing, though, is that Beca finds herself not really minding. Maybe it’s the familiar presence, or even just the consistency that Aubrey provided. Either way, three years after Beca’s graduation from Barden, Aubrey Posen and Beca Mitchell are what many could refer to as _best friends._

 

“Congratulations!” Aubrey exclaims, “I knew you’d do it!”

 

“Thanks,” Beca replies, the grin on her face evident in her voice, “drinks later?”

 

Aubrey hums an affirmative. “I’ll pick something up and meet you at yours?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“I’ll see you at seven.” Aubrey smiles, “oh and Beca? I’m really proud of you.”

Beca hangs up and while she doesn’t say it to anyone, Aubrey’s words run through her mind more frequently than she cares to admit.

 

///

 

What ends up being more surprising than Beca winning the Grammy, is the fact that she takes Aubrey Posen as her date to the event.

 

Since their reunion at the coffee shop, Beca and Aubrey’s friendship is something of an elusive trend of “are they, are they not” in the media. Neither Beca nor Aubrey is surprised when a picture of the two of them ends up online, attached to an article theorising that they are engaging in an illicit lesbian affair.

 

They laugh it off, sending a link to a few close friends and then, like the mature adults they are, post a picture together on Beca’s instagram (because of course she ends up signing up for that as well after Jason-Jackson-Jordan-Justin-Jacob had suggested it would be good for her ‘ _image’_ ).

 

Maybe the two of them have a little too much fun playing with this particular fire. Maybe, but what’s the point of being famous if you can’t stir the pot a little bit every now and again?

 

“There isn’t one.” Beca stated as she posted the picture, “if I can’t have fun with this then why am I even putting up with the crap?”

 

It was a fair point, and Aubrey let it go. It’s also why Aubrey didn’t question it when Beca mentioned that the two of them would be going to the award show together.

 

And maybe her narcissistic side liked the idea of showing off with Beca Mitchell, because god knows Beca isn’t the most open of people and the fact that she let Aubrey of all people into the tightly-knit group of select few people she opened up to is definitely something worth celebrating.

 

The fact that she knows that a certain woman will be watching the show has absolutely nothing to do with the fact she decides to go. But if watching Beca with Aubrey makes that woman feel even a little bit guilty for what she did all those years ago, Aubrey isn’t going to feel bad about it.

 

Not at all.

 

They go, and they get photographed together, and they laugh at the questions of whether or not they’re together without giving anything away.

 

And when Beca wins the award, she climbs onto the stage on shaking legs. Ever the woman of little words, her acceptance speech is no more than a few words that still somehow manage to break the hearts of everyone watching.

 

“This is probably the happiest moment of my life, and the really shitty thing about it is that I wouldn’t have gotten here without my ex girlfriend who broke my heart. And maybe this is a really stupid place to say this, but…I just want to say thank you, for breaking me. And that I’m sorry, and I really hope you’re doing well.”

 

///

 

(and when she gets home from a missed call from Chloe, and a voice message saying she’d like to meet up and talk the next time Beca is in Atlanta, Beca realises that maybe her heart isn’t as mended as she thought it was)

 


	2. hello from the other side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so here's the deal: 
> 
> the original plan was to have it be a very angsty bechloe ending (hence why it's tagged as bechloe), but as a whole lot of you seem to want mitchsen, i've worked out a possible mitchsen ending. 
> 
> please let me know if you guys want
> 
> A) bechloe ending  
> B) Mitchsen engding 
> 
> (either way I'll end up posting a mitchsen fic soon so yeah)

**Hello from the other side**

**.**

_Hello from the other side_

_I must've called a thousand times_

_To tell you I'm sorry, for everything that I've done_

_But when I call you never seem to be home_

//

 

The day Beca leaves for California, Chloe spends doing everything except thinking about the fact that Beca is leaving for California.

 

She doesn’t think about how Beca should be in the cab right now; her headphones clamped firmly over her ears as she falls asleep in the back seat. She doesn’t think about how Beca is probably boarding the plane, or about how she’s landing and directing the cab to the address Beca had scrawled on a receipt for the dinner she had bought Chloe not three weeks before Chloe had ended things.

 

(She definitely doesn’t think about the way Beca’s jaw had tensed while Chloe was ending things)

 

But there’s only so many times she can clean her apartment before she starts thinking about Beca. About the things that Beca used to do there. There’s still a chip on the wall near the TV where Beca had lost her footing tripped, landing in a heap on the floor and sending the DVD cabinet backwards into the wall. Aubrey had freaked out when she saw it, but Chloe thought it was funny.

 

And there’s still a stain in the carpet in her bedroom, from when Beca had spilt spaghetti bolognaise all over the floor during one of their “movie marathons”. It was probably the only time Chloe had seen Beca forget about food, and they’d woken up the next morning to Aubrey yelling at them about the upside down plate of spaghetti laying on the floor.

 

It was worth it because Beca does this – _did_ this thing with her tongue that Chloe didn’t think was at all possible.

 

But she’s not thinking about that right now. She _can’t_ think about that right now. It hurts too much to think about it, which isn’t entirely fair because she was the one that broke up with Beca. She has no right to be hurting, because she’s the reason Beca is in California right now, probably sitting in her apartment Googling Chinese take-out places.

 

But it was for the right reasons, right? She needed to end things because there’s no way Chloe could have moved across the country. Her job is here, her life is here, and Beca wasn’t going to go without her. But Beca needed to go to California. She would never have been happy here, she couldn’t have done the amazing things Chloe knows she is capable of if she had stayed here.

 

So she ended things, even though it felt like a piece of her soul had been ripped out. She ended things, because there was no way she was going to be the person that stood between Beca Mitchell and all the greatness and recognition she knows Beca is going to get now that she’s in LA.

 

Because while Beca always said that her place is wherever Chloe is, Chloe knows that Beca’s place in in Los Angeles.

 

And now she’s there.

 

//

 

Three times Chloe picks up the phone to call Beca, and three times she chickens out.

 

The first time is because it’s too early. Not enough time has passed since the break up, and really, Chloe has no right to be calling Beca at all. So she stops herself and indulges in reruns of the Golden Girls instead.

 

The second time she chickens out because she realises she doesn’t know what she wants to say. It’s not like there’s anything left in the apartment she can claim Beca needs to come pick up, because Dr. Mitchell and Sheila had been around only a few days before to collect all of Beca’s things, and if there’s one thing Sheila is incredibly good at, it’s sniffing out all of Beca’s belongings from every nook and cranny in the apartment.

 

So Chloe chickens out, because she doesn’t think a “hey, I miss you but this was for the best” is going to cut is, and she really doesn’t think she could handle Beca hanging up on her.

 

The third time? Chloe just doesn’t think Beca will want to talk to her. After all, Beca hasn’t exactly tried to get in contact with Chloe at all. She doesn’t want to talk. Not anymore.

 

Beca has California now, she doesn’t need Chloe.

 

//

 

When Brad asks her out for coffee, Chloe almost says no. The words “I’m spoken for” almost spill out.

 

Until she remembers that she isn’t spoken for. Not anymore. Because she ended things and let Beca fly to California.

 

So she says yes, because why not?

 

She needs to get over Beca at some point.

 

//

 

 

It’s a Thursday when she hears it. She’s cleaning her apartment, the radio playing softly in the background because it’s habit she’d picked up from Aubrey back when they had lived together.

 

 _“She’s new on the scene, but it’s clear she’s going to take this world by storm.”_ The radio presenter says. _“I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a Grammy or two in Beca Mitchell’s future…_ ”

 

Chloe turns the radio off before the song starts playing. She can’t bring herself to listen to it. Not yet, anyway, because she knows that if she hears Beca’s music she’ll end up doing something stupid. Like buying a plane ticket. And she can’t do that.

 

Not after she broke Beca’s heart.

 

So she turns off the radio, and she goes back to cleaning, humming to fill the silence that fills the apartment.

 

(she downloads the song off iTunes two days later.)

//

 

Maybe following Beca on every social media network is not smart move, but it seems like a mildly less creepy method of keeping up with her life than googling her daily. Which Chloe has absolutely not been doing at all, because of course she’s not a stalker. She just cares.

 

(it’s a weak excuse, and she knows it)

 

Chloe retweets Beca’s “thank you”, laughing to herself at how simple it is, and she wonders if Beca has any idea how much people love her.

 

She probably doesn’t, Chloe thinks, because Beca never really paid attention to what other people thought. She was in it for the music, and she always had been. After all, it had taken Chloe nearly two years before Beca had gotten a facebook account, and a lot longer before Beca had even considered putting her music online.

 

 _“It’s stupid,”_ she had said, _“no one will care.”_

_“This is how people get noticed, Beca!”_ Chloe had retorted, _“Someone big will notice you. I promise.”_

 

Beca had rolled her eyes, but she had eventually let Chloe set up a soundcloud account for her, and while Beca seemed surprised at the amount of people who seemed to genuinely like her music, Chloe wasn’t.

 

Because Beca was talented – _is_ talented – and it didn’t surprise her then and it doesn’t surprise her now that people like Beca’s music. That people want more of it.

 

The guy on the radio was right, after all. Beca has a Grammy in her future, she’s sure of it.

 

//

 

Brad says she has no right to be jealous of Aubrey.

 

He’s right, of course, he’s always right. Chloe knows nothing about the nature of Aubrey and Beca’s relationship, because she doesn’t exactly talk to either of them anymore. And that’s her fault, because she cut ties with them both. She didn’t try to maintain a relationship with Aubrey, especially after the news that Aubrey was headed for California.

 

Because California reminds her of Beca, and hearing about California makes her think about Beca. So cutting Aubrey off so she doesn’t have to think about California or Beca seemed like a great idea. A logical idea.

 

At the time, anyway.

 

Now, sitting in Brad’s apartment staring at the picture of Beca and Aubrey sitting in a café, Chloe wonders why she feels so jealous.

 

She has no right to. She’s moved on, Beca’s allowed to move on too. And she should. Beca deserves to be happy.

 

Chloe just wishes that Beca’s happiness wasn’t with her ex-best friend.

 

//

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Brad’s voice is soft, and at some point Chloe thinks it could have been comforting.

 

They’re lying in Chloe’s bed, and it’s sometime after midnight, and Chloe thinks that she should be feeling _something._ She’s got a good job, and a good boyfriend, and good apartment. Her life is good. It’s safe. She should be happy, right? She should be feeling good about everything because that’s what you feel when your life is going well.

 

…But she doesn’t. Feel good, that it. She feels numb; like she isn’t really feeling anything at all. There’s a _something_ that sits in the pit of her stomach, and sometimes it reaches up and clasps firmly around her throat and when it does, Chloe can’t breathe and everything feels heavy.

 

Brad seems to know this, too. Of course he does, Brad knows everything. He’s a good guy, and he loves her, even though Chloe has this thing where she can’t really commit to anything and that’s why they’re lying on Chloe’s bed instead of their bed. Because Brad had asked if she wanted to move in together and Chloe had said she wasn’t ready for that even though they’ve been together for over two years. Even though they were technically already living together, because half of his stuff is already in the apartment and most nights he sleeps there with her.

 

But there’s something about calling everything “their” things instead of two defined sections of “Chloe’s things” and “Brad’s things” that makes that heavy feeling reach up and clamp around her throat.

 

It’s terrifying, for one reason or another, and it’s strange because it seems as though the only things Chloe feels for even a brief moment are feelings of terror or feelings of sadness. Other than that, everything is numb.

 

She sighs, and she sits up in the bed and pretends not to notice when Brad does the same. She doesn’t look at him, and when he reaches out to brush the hair off of her shoulder, she swallows the lump that rises in her throat.

 

He asks again, “Are you okay?”

 

Chloe looks at him, now, and she doesn’t say anything but he knows.

 

Because Brad always knows.

 

Of course she isn’t okay.

 

//

 

(she watches Beca’s interview alone while Brad’s at work, and when she tweets Beca the congratulations tweet, she turns her phone off afterwards because she doesn’t want to know if Beca responds.)

 

(she pretends not to notice when nothing comes up when she turns her phone back on the next day)

 

//

 

Brad makes her go to the doctor, and the doctor makes her go to a psychologist who makes her talk about things Chloe would really rather not talk about.

 

Like the numbness.

 

And the heaviness that reaches up and blocks her breathing.

 

Like Beca.

 

Chloe has always been the type of person that would talk openly about her feelings. She’s never been the type of person to shut herself off from the world. Which is why it hits her hard when she’s asked if she has any friends outside of Brad.

 

She has to think.

 

None of the Bella’s are her friends anymore. Not in the way they used to be, anyway. The people from work stopped inviting her out after she declined the third invitation.

 

Aubrey and her lost contact ages ago.

 

“No,” she replies, “not anymore.”

 

Its then that she realises how bad things have become.

//

 

Beca wins the Grammy.

 

Aubrey is there. She looks so happy and carefree. Beca looks shocked, and then happy, and she kisses Aubrey on the cheek and Chloe pushes her body closer into Brad’s side and pretends that her heart doesn’t break a little bit.

 

 _“This is probably the happiest moment of my life,”_ Beca starts, and Chloe would be lying if she said her heart didn’t speed up as she watched Beca shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot on the stage, _“and the really shitty thing about it is that I wouldn’t have gotten here without my ex girlfriend who broke my heart.”_

 

Chloe’s breath caught in her throat, and she felt Brad’s arm tighten around her as he whispers that it’s okay into her hairline.

 

 _“And maybe this is a really stupid place to say this, but…I just want to say thank you, for breaking me.”_ Chloe pushes herself up on the cough, ignoring Brad’s questions about if she is alright, and her eyes stay glued to the television that is still focused on Beca. Beca who is holding a Grammy Award in her hand, but is looking at it as though it’s an old toy she doesn’t know if she wants to keep or throw away. _“And that I’m sorry, and I really hope you’re doing well.”_

 

//

 

It’s Brad’s idea to call Beca. He says that Chloe needs closure, and that maybe she’ll find it in actually having a conversation with Beca.

 

Chloe protests. Of course she does, because talking about Beca, or to Beca as the case may be, is one of the only things that makes her close off now.

 

“I’ll be right here, Chlo,” Brad says. “I’m not going anywhere.” And it’s enough to make Chloe wonder why on earth Brad is still so perfect when she’s literally pushed him away enough times to make anyone else run for the hills.

 

So she rings Beca, wondering if the phone number will be the same. It is, if the dialling tone is enough proof, and then it goes to message bank and Beca’s voice is telling her that she’s unavailable but she should leave a message and Beca will call her back when she can.

 

It’s the same message that Beca had recorded at Barden, when Chloe got fed up with the default one and made her record something original.

 

Chloe definitely doesn’t think about that when she asks Beca to meet for coffee next time she’s in Atlanta. She doesn’t think about it, because if she does she’ll have to admit how far from okay she actually is.

 

And when she hangs up, she avoids Brad’s gaze so he doesn’t know how not-okay she is, either.

 

(he knows, of course. Because Brad knows everything and it shatters Chloe’s heart just a little bit more).

 


	3. hello...

**Hello…**

_._

_It's no secret_

_That the both of us are running out of time…_

 

//

 

Beca doesn’t reply to Chloe’s message right away. In the days that pass after the Grammys, Beca instead buries herself in returning the phone calls of her family, close friends, and co-workers and she barely even thinks about Chloe’s voicemail until Aubrey asks her what she’s going to do about it.

 

“I have no idea,” Beca replies. They’re sitting at their café, or rather, the café that they always seem to end up at. Beca thinks it’s kind of awkward that the café staff know them and their orders now. Aubrey thinks it’s helpful, because neither of them need to order. It saves time, or something like that. Beca isn’t really sure. She kinda just lets Aubrey do her thing now, as opposed to trying to work out exactly what goes on in Aubrey Posen’s brain.

 

“Do you want to see her?”

 

Aubrey, ever so direct, raises an eyebrow and smirks as Beca sighs and rolls her eyes. Out of the corner of her eye Beca sees a few paparazzi capturing pictures of the two of them. The headline tomorrow will probably be something along the lines of _“Beca Mitchell celebrates Grammy win with gal pal Aubrey Posen”_ and flashes a quick smile before turning back to Aubrey.

 

“I don’t know.” She picks up her coffee and takes a sip. Aubrey is waiting for a proper answer and Beca knows it, but she honestly doesn’t know if she wants to reconnect with Chloe in any sense of the word.

 

Chloe hurt her. That’s probably the only thing Beca is absolutely sure of right now. The thought of letting Chloe back into her life, and opening up the potential to get hurt again, is something that makes Beca’s heart drop into her stomach. She’s happy now. Beca is legitimately happy with her life. And sure, she loves Chloe. She’ll probably always love Chloe because her relationship with Chloe was one of those grand, life-altering relationships that stay with you even after they’ve died out. Her relationship with Chloe was one of the things that made her who she is today, and Chloe will always mean a lot to Beca. She will always hold a piece of Beca’s soul within her.

 

But is that enough to make Beca want to bring Chloe back into her life?

 

She really isn’t sure.

 

“Do you want to know what I think?”

 

Aubrey’s words bring Beca out of her thoughts, and when she looks up Aubrey is staring at her over the top of her coffee cup.

 

Beca nods slowly, because honestly? Any thoughts on the subject will be welcomed.

 

“I think it’s a good idea. Talking to her.”

 

Beca raises an eyebrow in surprise, because that was definitely not what she expected to come out of Aubrey’s mouth. And Aubrey knows that, because she’s smiling coyly, clearly revelling in Beca’s surprise.

 

“You need closure, Beca. You need to get the answers you didn’t get when you came to LA, and you need to put whatever you and Chloe had behind you.” Aubrey’s smirk turns into a small smile, and she puts her cup back down on the table. “And then you can decide whether you want Chloe in your life or not. And _how_ you want her in your life. But I really do think you need to at least talk to her, and try to get whatever answers you can.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because until you do, I don’t think you’re going to be able to fully allow yourself to move on.”

 

///

  

When Beca’s boss all but forces her to take time off, she begrudgingly agrees to go home for a week, on the condition that Aubrey comes with her because if they were honest, they both needed the time off.

 

So Aubrey books two tickets to Atlanta, and Beca calls her dad and asks if the spare room is available for a week.

 

“Of course!” Comes the reply, “you’re welcome anytime, Beca. You know that.”

 

“I just thought I’d check.” Beca mumbles in response, feeling her cheeks blush. Aubrey sniggers at her, and receives the middle finger in response as Beca turns around to continue the conversation. “For all I know you could have had it renovated into a collectors museum. Or maybe an exercise room.”

 

Her dad laughs, and says to email him through their flight details and he’ll come meet them at the airport.

 

“Oh, and Beca? Tell Aubrey she’s more than welcome to stay if her family is…well, she’s welcome to stay.”

 

“I’ll pass it along.” Beca assures him. “Bye.”

 

“Bye Becs.”

 

///

 

She doesn’t call Chloe until she’s standing in the airport staring at the departure gate and Aubrey all but holds the phone to Beca’s ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

It takes Beca a second to get a handle on the emotions that run through her body at the single worded question that Chloe greets her with. When she does, though, she only manages to breathe out a single word in response.

 

“Chloe.”

 

There’s silence on the other end, and Beca is about to hang up when Chloe eventually replies.

 

“Beca?”

 

“Yeah, uh, hey?” Beca frowns and bites her lip, glancing at Aubrey who has seated herself on a chair and is reading a newspaper. The blonde looks up, feeling Beca’s glance and she gives her a small smile in encouragement. “I uh. I got your, um, message? And I’m just…well I’m about to get on a flight to Atlanta and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee? Or…something else, I guess? Tea?”

 

She scrunches her eyes closed and prays to whomever is listening that her whole spiel didn’t sound as lame as it did to her, but when she opens her eyes and sees Aubrey’s exasperated look, she knows that her prayers are in vain.

 

Chloe laughs, though. “Coffee is fine. How long are you staying?”

 

“A week. We’re staying at my dad’s house.”

 

The line goes silent, and Beca checks to see whether the call is still connected. “Hello?”

 

“Is Aubrey with you?”

 

Chloe’s voice has lost the cheerfulness that it has carried before, and Beca frowns, glancing at Aubrey for a second out of the corner of her eye. Aubrey frowns, asking if Beca’s okay, and she doesn’t seem convinced by the small nod Beca gives in return.

 

“Uh yeah. I kinda got ordered by my boss to take time off. Figured I could use it as motivation to get miss workaholic to take a break too.” Beca laughs, albeit unconvincingly. “I’m going to make Sheila take her to the spa for a few days.”

 

“Oh.” Chloe clears her throat. “Well, okay. We can work out a time for coffee once you get here?”

 

It’s a dismissal, and Beca knows it.

 

“Sure. I’ll call you once we get to my dads house.”

 

“Sounds good. Bye Beca.”

Beca has barely opened her mouth to reply when she hears the click signalling that Chloe has hung up.

 

///

 

Beca’s dad does this thing where he seems to know what Beca is feeling before Beca has even acknowledged that she is feeling something.

 

Which is why she isn’t too surprised when she gets pulled aside and asked if she needs anything.

 

“I’m fine,” she replies, knowing full well that her dad doesn’t believe a word of it, “I’m just like, working things out, you know?”

 

Her dad looks at her in the way that makes Beca feel as though he is reading her mind, but then he nods and smiles and says that if she needs anything, he is here to support her.

 

“Thanks,” she replies, leaving the room with a strange feeling settling into her stomach.

 

Her dad is weird, but she can’t help but wonder what it is that he’s picked up on.

 

///

 

The day after Beca and Aubrey arrive, Sheila whisks Aubrey away for three days at the spa.

 

Aubrey still manages to scold Beca, telling her to call Chloe or _“god help me Beca I’ll call her myself.”_

 

It’s enough to give Beca nightmares, so once she’s watch the car disappear down the street, she makes herself a cup of coffee and dials Chloe’s number.

 

This time, Chloe doesn’t pick up on the first ring.

 

Or the second.

 

Or the third.

 

Beca nearly hangs up.

 

When Chloe does eventually answer, the conversation is short, and Beca wonders why Chloe wants to meet with her in the first place because it doesn’t seem as though she’s all that excited about it.

 

They agree to meet that afternoon at a coffee shop Beca vaguely remembers having walked past at some point after her dad has described it to her.

 

“Good coffee,” her dad adds, almost as an afterthought, “strong.”

 

That makes her happy because even if Chloe ends up standing her up, or walking out, or something along those lines, at least she knows the coffee will be good.

 

///

 

Chloe is ten minutes late.

 

This doesn’t surprise Beca, because Chloe has never been the type of person to run on time. It doesn’t stop Beca wondering if Chloe is going to turn up at all, though, and she spends the ten minutes she’s alone in the café texting Aubrey who assures her that Chloe should turn up, and if she doesn’t at least the coffee is good.

 

(and it is good. Her dad was definitely correct about that.)

 

When Chloe does arrive, the only thought that runs through Beca’s head is that now, Chloe’s voice on the phone seems to make so much more sense.

 

Because Chloe looks tired. No. She looks absolutely exhausted, and watching her make her way through the maze of tables to where Beca is sitting in the back Beca can’t help but take in the appearance of her ex-girlfriend with a small frown.

 

Her red hair is pulled up in a messy bun, and there doesn’t seem to be any make up on her face, and she’s moving slowly – as though any faster and she will break, or fall apart, or _something_ like that. And Beca’s heart breaks, because when Chloe looks at her, the smile that appears on Chloe’s face doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but Beca thinks that nothing would really reach Chloe’s eyes, because Chloe’s eyes are dark and sad, as though the fire behind them has died out, and no one has bothered to relight it.

 

The Chloe Beale that is now standing front of her is not the Chloe Beale that Beca remembers.

 

But it’s Chloe. It’s unmistakeably Chloe, and Beca stands to give her a small hug, and her heart breaks a little more when she feels how thin Chloe is under the light jacket she has on. And when they part, Beca has to physically force the smile onto her face, as reminds herself that she has to let go of Chloe’s shoulders.

 

“Hello.” Chloe says, shrugging off her jacket.

 

Beca opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out, and she clears her throat before managing a small “Hello.”

 

And when Chloe smiles, Beca realises she has so many more questions than she originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so here's what i'm going to do
> 
> next update i'll update two chapters: the first will be the bechloe ending, the second will be mitchsen 
> 
> i'm doing this because between here, tumblr, and ff.net i had pretty much an equal number of votes for either ship. and tbh, i can't choose. so i'll write both, and you lot can decide which one you want to read. 
> 
> sound good?


	4. hello, from the outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so repost because i wasn't happy with the way the chapter turned out and yep sorry about that. hopefully this is better/less rushed/generally less disappointing 
> 
> Bechloe ending. Mitchsen will be up eventually.

**Hello from the outside (Bechloe)**

_._

****

_Hello from the outside_

_At least I can say that I've tried_

_To tell you I'm sorry, for breaking your heart_

_But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore_

**_///_ **

****

She’s running late. She knows she’s running late because she woke up on the couch a mere four minutes before she is supposed to be meeting Beca, and if that isn’t enough to send her into a panic attack, Chloe really isn’t sure what is. It doesn’t matter though, because during college she always had a habit of running late, and hopefully Beca doesn’t mind too much that she is scaping the bare minimum of presentable clothing choices. Or when her last shower had been, she thinks as she glances in the bathroom mirror. Her cheeks are hallow and there’s bags under her eyes, and even though her hair is pulled up in a messy bun, Chloe knows that she isn’t exactly the picture of a person that is what one would consider to be “okay”.

 

But maybe Beca won’t notice; people do change, after all. Or maybe Beca will think that she’s just come down with a cold. Chloe does look sick, after all. It’s a slim hope, and Chloe knows that, but she pushes the thought out of her mind as she rushes out the door, only five minutes after she was supposed to meet Beca.

 

Maybe, she thinks, Beca can help make her better.

 

///

 

Beca is sitting at table in the back of the shop, and she’s texting someone on her phone, but she looks up almost as soon as Chloe walks through the front door.

 

And Chloe knows as soon as Beca looks at her that she _knows_ something isn’t right, and it makes her heart drop because she really did hope that Beca wouldn’t figure it out. She hoped, because somehow having Beca know that she isn’t okay is a thousand times worse than being not-okay in the first place.

 

It’s flawed logic, but Chloe doesn’t care because some part of her still hopes that Beca won’t mention it. That Beca will hug her and smile and they’ll talk about anything and everything that isn’t related to Chloe’s wellbeing, and then they’ll go their separate ways with a sense of closure. After all, Chloe has Brad now; handsome, funny, wonderful Brad who is very good at ignoring the ginormous elephant in the room with the words “Chloe loves Beca” scrawled in huge letters across it.

 

Not that she’s going to mention that to Beca at all – Brad or the elephant – because while Chloe has Brad, Beca has Aubrey and it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Beca is okay with how things are. Whatever feelings she had for Chloe, or residual sadness over their break-up is now merely dust in the wind. Beca is fine, and now Chloe needs to be fine too.

 

After all, she doesn’t really have anything to be sad about. Not really.

 

///

 

“Hello.” Chloe says, shrugging off her jacket.

 

Beca opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out, and she clears her throat before managing a small “Hello.”

 

It makes Chloe smile, knowing that Beca is maybe just as nervous about this whole meeting as she is. Even though there’s still the underlying anxiety that comes with knowing that Beca _knows,_ when they sit Chloe feels a sense of calm wash over her.

 

Until Beca picks up her phone, saying with an apologetic smile that she has to text Aubrey to let her know that Chloe is here, and the sharp reminder that Beca doesn’t _need_ her anymore destroys any sense of calm that Chloe might have possessed.

 

She has Aubrey now.

 

Chloe has Brad.

 

This meeting is just to clear the air between them, not to form a friendship, or anything else.

 

And then Beca is looking at her, with the all-too familiar look of worry and pity in her eyes, and Chloe realises she had been spacing out.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Beca’s words are hesitant, and a part of Chloe is sure that Beca says them with pure intentions, but the other part of her brain says that she’s only saying it because she feels obligated to. So Chloe forces a smile onto her face, and nods her head while she replies with a chipper, “Yep! Perfectly fine!” as though by nodding her head it would affirm that she is, indeed, perfectly fine.

 

Even though she’s not.

 

And Beca _knows_ she’s not, and Chloe knows that she knows because she can see the doubt in Beca’s eyes; the hesitant glance before she nods and asks if Chloe wants anything to eat or drink.

 

Chloe nods again, saying she’ll go and get something and, _would you like anything else? A refill?_

“I’m fine, Chlo. Are you sure you don’t want me to pay?”

 

Chloe shakes her head and stands quickly, turning to walk towards the cash register and once again feeling her heart drop heavily into her stomach, which in itself is twisting and turning as she digests the fact that Beca had called her ‘Chlo’.

 

Had it slipped out unintentionally? Or did Beca mean to let the old nickname escape? Chloe doesn’t know, and she glances back towards the table, seeing Beca with her phone in hand, before she turns around and bolts from the shop altogether.

 

///

 

She doesn’t anticipate Beca following. She hadn’t even noticed Beca looking up, but she’s a mere five metres from the front door of the café when she hears the ringing of the bell, followed by a sharp, _“Chloe, don’t you dare run away from me again.”_

 

And something inside her breaks.

 

The words penetrate deep within her, clenching around her heart and blocking her airway, suffocating her. And she stumbles; falling forwards until she is certain she’s going to collapse onto the concrete sidewalk. It’s a strange feeling, knowing you’re going to lose consciousness, and she lets all control she has over her body leave her, but instead of the hard surface of the concrete she feels two arms wrap around her and she feels herself being lowered gently to the ground.

 

///

 

And then she wakes up, and she isn’t on the sidewalk outside the café, but rather in a house she vaguely recognises as belonging to Doctor Mitchell.

 

It takes a second for Chloe to put two and two together, reaching the conclusion that Beca must have brought her here. It’s a few seconds after that conclusion was reached that the panic started to set it, and the overwhelming need to _leave_ consumes her.

 

( _you need to get out of here_ , her head is saying, _you need to leave right now_ )

 

“Don’t you dare even try to sit up,” a voice says from beside her, “I’m under strict order to keep you laying down in this bed, and I don’t know about you but I personally do not feel like being murdered by a hobbit today.”

 

Chloe smiles, despite herself, and she turns her head to see Aubrey Posen sitting in a chair beside the bed, a book perched on her lap.

 

“Hi.”

 

Aubrey’s expression softens, and the corners of her mouth twitch upwards in what Chloe assumes is the beginnings of a smile. “Hi.”

 

It isn’t much, but all things considering, Chloe isn’t expecting any more, so she takes it. She takes it, and she holds it close because finally she feels like the fragments of her soul are being stitched back together.

 

Piece by miniscule piece.

 

///

 

Beca comes home just before five, and Chloe realises she must have been unconscious for most of the day.

 

(later she asks Beca for the exact timing of her time spent unconcious, and Beca tells her that she came-to a few times, but always fell asleep again soon after.

 

 _“you must have been exhausted,”_ is a frequently repeated phrase, _“you just asked for water and rolled over again. Sometimes you didn’t even drink the goddamn water. It drove Aubrey nuts.”_

 

Chloe has no words for that, so she just thanks Beca – over and over and over – and she can’t quite shake the feeling that it’s all just a giant inconvenience for Beca, although she knows that’s probably not the case. Not with Beca, anyway.)

 

Aubrey, as it is, doesn’t leave her until Beca knocks on the door. The two discuss something with hushed tones out in the hallway before Beca comes into the room, seating herself on the chair Aubrey has been occupying.

 

“How are you feeling?” She asks, shuffling in the seat, “and be honest with me this time.”

 

“I’m okay,” Chloe replies, and Beca narrows her eyes at her. “I mean, I’m not... _okay_ , but I mean, I’m _okay_. Like, I’m not one hundred per cent fine but I can definitely see myself getting there, you know? Like I’m okay. Better than I was.”

 

Beca examines her with a blank expression for a few seconds, and Chloe suddenly feels very naked despite the fact she is very much clothed and under the bed covers. She tries to look somewhere else, to distract herself from Beca’s gaze, but then she hears Beca hum a reply, and Chloe turns her head to see Beca nodding to herself, a distant look in her eye.

 

“Okay,” she says finally, “but you’re staying in this bed until you are really okay. And don’t bother fighting it, either. It’s either here or I take you to the hospital. You’re extremely underweight, Chlo. And you’re weak. Literally, exhausted. Have you been sleeping at all?”

 

It’s a rhetorical question, and Chloe knows that, but she finds herself replying anyway. “All I do is sleep.”

 

Beca freezes, and once again Chloe feels scrutinised under her gaze. This time, though, Chloe finds herself staring back, though, and for once she doesn’t feel as though the look is full of pity. When she looks at Beca, she sees something different. She isn’t sure what it is, but it makes her swallow hard and her breath catches in her throat.

 

“Well you probably need it,” Beca eventually replies, “but don’t worry. We’ll get you back to your old self in no time.”

 

“I don’t think she exists anymore.”

 

The words aren’t meant to be spoken out loud, but they do, and of course Beca catches them. Of course she does, and then she’s looking at you with an expression of such _concern_ and Chloe feels her eyes widen as she clamps her mouth shut, biting down on her tongue to stop anything else from spilling out.

 

“ _Chloe_.” Beca whispers, her voice hoarse, and Chloe recognises it as the tone Beca uses when she’s trying to hold back some kind of emotion. “Chloe…what’s happened to you.”

 

And she doesn’t mean to. She really doesn’t, but with the combination of Beca’s small frown, and the way her eyes seem to be seeing straight into her soul, Chloe can’t help the over-share of information that simply comes _pouring_ out of her. Years and years of pent-up feelings that have only been heard between the walls of the therapists office, things that – until now – Chloe hadn’t even been aware were a problem, were spilled out in a flood-like state to audience composed entirely of Beca.

 

Beca who, for her part, remains still and silent and actively listening to the outpour of emotion that she realises must have been consuming Chloe for the duration of their years apart.  It tears her apart, and so she sits and she listens and she watches as Chloe vents, and she learns. She learns so much about the person whom at one stage of her life, she would have said she knew everything about.

 

It goes to show how much time can change things. Can change _people_.

 

And maybe it isn’t an activity that should happen so soon after Chloe literally breaks inside, but maybe it’s also something that needs to happen. For both of them, so they can move forward. So they can move on.

 

And when Beca leaves a few hours later, seat taken over by the ever-helpful Aubrey, Chloe realises that another piece of her soul has been stitched back together – however haphazardly that stitching may be.

 

///

 

It’s another three days before Beca will even consider letting her get out of bed for something more than a bathroom trip, and another two weeks before Chloe is allowed to venture out of the house.

 

For all the frustration, though, Chloe is big enough to admit that she feels a huge amount better than she had when she walked to the coffee shop in the first place. Whether that’s because of the decent rest, actual meals, or the fact she had blurted out her deepest, darkest secrets to the one person she had thought she would never tell those things to, Chloe isn’t sure.

 

Whichever one it is though, Chloe isn’t complaining, and as she sits on the front porch of Dr. Mitchell’s house, she realises that maybe things will be okay.

 

///

 

It doesn’t even occur to her until several weeks after her arrival at the Mitchell house, that maybe she should call Brad.

 

She puts it off, though, until Beca notices something is bugging her and then volunteers to sit down with her while she makes the call.

 

It rings three times.

 

“Chloe?” he answers, confusion written through his voice.

 

“Uh, hey?” Chloe breathes out, “so um, I probably should have called before? But um, I’ve been at a friends place.” She lets out a breath, “they’ve been helping me. Get better, I mean. I’m getting better.”

 

There’s silence on the other end of the line, and Chloe has to check that it’s still connected before Brad is talking again.

 

“Did you-“ He sighs, “Did you not get my note?”

 

Chloe frowns, and she glances at Beca who is sitting dutifully across the table, looking at her with concern. “What note?”

Brad sighs. “I left a note. On the bench. Did you not get my note?”

 

The crease in Beca’s forehead is getting deeper the more Chloe watches her, and she wonders briefly if the frown on her own face is of similar severity.

 

“I haven’t been home. What are you talking about?”

 

“Just read the note, Chloe.” Brad says, and then the line goes dead and Chloe stares at her phone screen until Beca reaches over, touching her hand lightly and asking what Brad said.

 

“He left a note? Apparently I need to reach it?”

 

If Beca has any concerns regarding the note, she certainly doesn’t exhibit them as she drives Chloe to her home, and follows her to the kitchen so she can read this overly-important note.

 

///

 

Brad, it seems, had had enough of the giant elephant in the room.

 

Chloe doesn’t cry, even though she knows she probably should, and she wonders if that makes her a bad person at all.

 

It doesn’t, according the Beca, but it doesn’t stop the need for Chloe to call her therapist and spend two hours being assured that this doesn’t mean that she is a bad person. Nor does it mean that she’s a burden on anyone, and if Brad has decided he needs to leave this relationship, that his right and he probably has more reasons than the one he wrote in the note.

 

“People come and go from your life, Chloe,” her therapist says, “and sometimes there’s nothing we can do. We outgrow people, they outgrow us. It happens, and all we can do is try and look back on the time we spent with them with fondness and happy memories.”

 

“It isn’t my fault?” Chloe whispers into the phone, “I mean, Brad didn’t just leave because I can’t get my shit together.”

 

“In all honesty, he probably left because he hasn’t got his shit together. The fact he wrote in the letter he left that it’s time for you to let go of comforts and embrace the things you really want, suggests to me that he wants you to be happy, and he knows that being with him will never allow you to do that.”

 

“So what do I do?”

 

“Decide what makes you happy, and pursue it.”

 

///

 

“Are you happy in L.A?”

 

The question comes out over dinner. Doctor Mitchell and Sheila are there, and in all honesty Chloe doesn’t mean for it to come out. But Beca looks at her thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side and crinkling her nose slightly before she answers.

 

“In some ways,” she says eventually, “It’s great to be working with the people I am, and I mean…I have Aubrey and a few people at work. But I guess I just miss some aspects of being home. Like the Bellas. I miss having that, like, one group of people you know you can count on. You know what I mean? It kinda sucks being so far away from those people.”

 

Chloe nods, and she glances at Doctor Mitchell who is looking intently into his wine glass, and then at Sheila who is looking at Beca with a knowing smirk, and Chloe can only wonder what that means.

 

“Would you move back?”

 

Beca shakes her head. “I couldn’t. I love my work too much. And I mean, I’ll make friends, I guess.” She smiles softly, “I can always come back for holidays.”

 

Doctor Mitchell laughs then, and Chloe is drawn out of the trance she had found herself in. “You mean you’ll come back more than once a year? Shocking!”

 

Beca narrows her eyes at her father, and Sheila winks at Chloe before turning back to her husband and stepdaughter, who were engaged in a rather vicious battle of the wits. Chloe looks on; smiling softly at the way the family interacts. It’s so easy, so carefree, and when Doctor Mitchell makes a jab at one of Beca’s tattoos, Beca doesn’t hesitate before questioning her father’s shaving practices and Chloe finds herself drawn in when Doctor Mitchell asks for her input.

 

“I like Beca’s tattoos,” she shrugs, “they’re nice.”

 

“See!” Beca gestures towards Chloe, “if only the same could be said for your beard!”

“It’s not as bad as my father’s,” comes Aubrey’s voice from the doorway, “I swear he thinks it’s still the 80’s.”

 

“Was it that bad?” Beca raises an eyebrow, “I told you that you should have brought a potato salad.”

 

Aubrey rolls her eyes, excusing herself to go shower, shouting over her shoulder that, “and for one, I could deal with the tattoos if you got rid of the ear monstrosities!”

 

///

 

Chloe spends a lot of time thinking about that one particular conversation they had had over dinner. About what Beca said, about being happy but missing parts of her life before she had moved. And she thinks about the fact she had stayed in college so long, because she was scared to move forward, but then stayed in Atlanta simply because it was comfortable.

 

And she thinks that, maybe, she hadn’t really moved forward with her life at all. After all, she had spent so long convincing herself that she needed to push for Beca to move to L.A. alone. That she needed to let Beca go in order for the both of them to be happy doing what they loved, but really neither of them had exactly been happy. Not really.

 

Because Chloe had been miserable without Beca, and Beca hadn’t even had Aubrey until she had been in L.A. for a while. And if she had just pulled herself together and moved with Beca, maybe it would have been terrifying and uncomfortable at first, but at least they would have had each other.

 

Maybe, Chloe thinks, she had made the wrong choice all those years ago. Maybe she had made a mistake; a mistake that had resulted in several years of unhappiness that could have been avoided had Chloe just acknowledged that she has problems with change.

 

“I’m an idiot,” she says to herself, rolling over in bed and pulling the covers over her head, “god, I’m such an idiot.”

 

 

///

 

 

“Do you want to order pizza tonight?” Beca asks as Chloe enters the kitchen, “My dad and Sheila are having a date night or whatever. Plus,” she smiles, “It’s my last week here before I have to go back to work, so I figured we should have some fun or something.”

 

Chloe raises an eyebrow, opening the fridge to pull out the jug of cold water, “What about Aubrey?” She asks, “where’s she tonight?”

 

“She’s got a date with Luke or something. I wasn’t really paying attention when she told me.”

 

Beca says it so nonchalantly, bent over her phone, scrolling through facebook, and with a shrug of her shoulders that suggests that she doesn’t particularly care where Aubrey is going tonight, that Chloe isn’t sure what surprises her more - the fact that Aubrey has a date with Luke, or that Beca and Aubrey aren’t together.

 

“Oh,” is all that comes out of her mouth, and Beca looks up at her with a frown. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

 

“Yeah?” Beca smiles, looking up at her, “okay sweet. I’ll order and when it comes we can watch a movie or something? I don’t know, what do you like to do for fun? We could go out? Is that mini golf place still open? The one with the weird hippo thing- actually no, that shit was creepy please forget I even suggested that.”

 

Beca trails off with wide eyes and Chloe bites her lip to stop herself from laughing.

 

“A movie is fine,” she says, and Beca’s entire body seems to relax at the words. “But I’m so making you watch Aladdin with me.”

 

Beca rolls her eyes, turning to leave the kitchen and she throws up her middle finger for good measure.

 

///

 

It’s when Beca lays her head on Chloe’s shoulder, mumbling something about how much she hates this movie, that Chloe realises that maybe her mistake hasn’t cost her absolutely everything. And it’s when she realises that Beca has fallen sleep on her shoulder that she thinks that maybe she _is_ strong enough to pursue it.

 

So she nudges Beca awake, biting her lip when Beca lets out a tiny grumble before sitting up and blinking rapidly. “What?”

 

“You fell asleep, let’s get you to bed.”

 

Beca sighs, but she stands up and follows Chloe up the stairs, tucking herself under the covers on her bed and curling up into a ball.

 

Chloe smiles, turning to leave when she hears a faint, “stay.” That causes her to spin on her heel to face Beca with wide eyes.

 

“Please,” Beca adds, untucking an arm to pat the space behind her. “Stay.”

 

“Are you sure?” Chloe asks, “I mean, are you _sure?”_

 

“Yeah,” Beca nods, seemingly incapable of stringing more than one syllable together, “Stay.”

 

And Chloe nods, walking over to the other side of the bed, tucking herself under the covers to lie flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. It only takes a few seconds before Beca rolls over, snaking an arm over Chloe’s stomach, pulling her closer.

 

Chloe lets out a breath, and she feels Beca smile into the crook of her neck. “Don’t question it, Beale.” Beca mumbles, “We can talk in the morning.”

 

And Chloe laughs, resting her cheek against the top of Beca’s head before closing her eyes, a faint smile still playing on her lips as she realises that there aren’t any “maybes” here. She will get better, and she will allow someone to help stitch together the fragmented pieces of her soul. And even though there will be scars, and even though the “what ifs” will still haunt her at night, she will be able to let the wounds heal and scars fade. The what if’s will eventually fade into the night, becoming a backdrop for her to base her future on.

 

And when Beca mumbles in her sleep, Chloe snakes an arm underneath the sleeping figure to pull her closer still, she lets out a sigh before allowing sleep to overcome her.

 

Yeah, she thinks, she will be happy.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt bad so i didn't make it angsty. let me know what you think!
> 
> also sorry again if you read the shitty version :/


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